The Astros are going to win the 2012 World Series. They will be led by the bats of J.D. Martinez, Jose Altuve and Chris Johnson, as well as the pitching of Livan Hernandez and J.A. Happ. Yep, the Astros are going to make everyone forget about their 106 loss 2011 season, and will replace the names of Biggio, Berkman and Bagwell with Bogusevic, Bourgeois and Bud. The season will culminate in players pouring ice cold Minute Maid lemonades on each other on top of Tal’s Hill in centerfield of Minute Maid Park. It will be glorious. If you’re an Astros fan, please stop reading now.
Are they gone? Good, because that concludes our trip to fantasy land, please check that you have all your personal belongings before exiting the ride. Back to reality.
The 2012 Houston Astros are going to be a historically terrible team. No you don’t understand, these guys will be bad. Not in the way that kids these days say it, like “dude, that chick in 3rd period was bad!”, in which case bad means good, which makes complete sense. No, the Houston Astros are going to rewrite the definition of horrible.
What’s scary, is that the Astros lost 106 games last year, despite having talented players like Hunter Pence and Michael Bourne for more than half of the season. Both players, who were easily their best players last season, are gone. This season, with the exception of the declining Carlos Lee, none of the starting positional players were starters last season on opening day. 5 of their 8 projected starters for the 2012 season were in the minor leagues at the beginning of last season.
But wait, the Astros have to have some good young talent if they have so many young players in their lineup. Why else would they bring them up and have them start so quickly? ESPN writer Keith Law, a former Blue Jay scout, writes an annual article ranking the top 100 baseball prospects in MLB. If the young starters the Astros are putting on the field really deserve to start, you would expect them to be on his list, either last year or this year. Can you guess how many Astros there were on the 2011 list? Can you guess how many of the starters are on the 2012 list? Both answers rhyme with hero. In short, the Astros are going to a field a team of B and C level prospects, many of which aren’t ready for the major leagues. Players that barely have any success in AAA are going to be force fed into the major league spotlight. This can't end well. The good news is that the Astros will use bats. That should allow them to win at least 1 or 2 games.
The pitching is still awful, but not as terrible as the hitting. Wandy Rodgriguez, the lone remaining member of the 2005 Astros team that went to the World Series, anchors the staff. Rodriguez is a third or fourth starter on a good team, and will likely be dealt by the end of the season. Bud Norris is the number 2 starter, and may be the most promising talent in the majors for the Astros as he averaged more strikeouts per game than pitchers such as Roy Halladay, Josh Beckett and Max Scherzer. His 3.77 ERA is promising for a 27 year old pitcher that still has room for improvement. There’s something good. Unfortunately, the Astros have 3 other starting pitchers. Jordan Lyles is only 21, and could be able to develop into a competent major leaguer with upside. Until them, expect more of the 5.36 ERA he had last year. Last season J.A. Happ, in the prime of his career, posted a 5.35 ERA which was the 2nd worst ERA of any starting pitcher with at least 150 innings. He’s back this season. Finally, their fifth starter is Livan Hernandez. That's not even funny. On the bright side, all their starters can throw the ball 60 feet 6 inches… most of the time.
I don’t know how many losses the Astros are going to have. The 1899 Cleveland Spiders, who were led by rookie Jamie Moyer, hold the record for most losses in a season with 134. Too many weird things can happen in baseball for the Astros to lose that much. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t flirt with the 120 losses. I’m certainly not rooting for it to happen. I’m rooting for the Astros, it would be hilarious if they ended to winning this season! Still, Astros fans should lay low in the midst of Rocket playoff hysteria for a little bit. Kyle Lowry and Luis Scola should cheer you up… until you remember they probably are going to be your starting right and left fielder by the end of the baseball season.
No comments:
Post a Comment