The Dwight Howard Conundrum

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Stan Van Gundy is funny, mainly because he doesn’t give a crap. If 74 alpacas took giant alpaca poops in his house, Stan Van wouldn’t care. He may think it’s a bit odd that alpacas are roaming around the suburbs of Orlando, Florida, but regardless, Stan Van wouldn’t care. Stan Van is the basketball version of the honey badger, because he just doesn’t give a you know what. He’s also funny because he’s just silly to look at.

            He’s a cutie! Also very underrated Walrus mustache.

            Given these facts, and one questionable analogy to a ferocious animal, you would have to think his negligence would catch up to him eventually. Well on Thursday, it looks like it may have cost him his job. The ongoing Dwight Howard saga took its strangest turn last week, when Van Gundy acknowledged the fact that he knew Howard wanted him and had asked for him to be fired. Here’s the glorious video in case you haven’t seen it.

            And with that awkward hug from Dwight, the Van Gundy era in Orlando is going to come to a screeching halt.

            Van Gundy may have been in the wrong for those comments, but this has all been a product of Howard requesting a trade all the way back in December, with the hopes of getting to a bigger market than Orlando. There are several reasons why this confuses me:

-       Dwight wants to go to the Nets. The Nets are are not good at playing basketball.

-       The Magic are not a bad team. In fact, Dwight has been on cruise control for most of the season, half-assing his way through games with one foot out the door and the Magic are only 1 game out of the 3^rd seed in the Eastern Conference.

-       The Magic were in the Finals in 2009. They were in the Eastern Conference finals in 2010. They are not a bad team. In fact, they’re a good team!

-       The Nets are 17 games below .500. Also bad.

-       The Nets average 3 fans a game. The Nets have 2 fans that actually care.

-       Orlando is a big market. They have Mickey Mouse.

-       How’s the whole going to a bigger market working out for Carmelo Anthony? Battling with the Bucks for the eighth seed in the playoffs. Living the dream!

-       Have I mentioned the Magic are a good team? Add a couple of pieces in the offseason and this team could be a championship contender.

-       Kevin Durant plays in a small market. He’s doing alright.

It’s clear that if Dwight was really concerned with winning, he would stay in Orlando. If he was, he wouldn’t completely destroy the foundation of his current franchise for his own selfish reasons. Unfortunately, Dwight is the classic example of the NBA superstar more concerned with his brand, than winning. He’s a top five player in the NBA, the most dominant big man in the NBA, and he’s most concerned with improving his own marketability.

            Stan Van Gundy made a mistake. But while you criticize Stan Van for being callous, remember to ask yourself what the real problem is. This whole situation should never have happened if a an enormously talented superstar kept his mouth shut, and committed to playing basketball for a championship caliber basketball team.