Sweet Sixteen Predictions

Just to review the big stories in sports today: The Saints got handed suspensions for ordering bounties on opposing players (including Sean Payton for the whole year), Tim Tebow got traded then untraded and then traded again to the Jets, the Mavericks lost to the Lakers for the fourth consecutive time and the Giants pulled within 1.5 games of the A’s for first in the Cactus League.  One of those stories is completely irrelevant and I’m beginning to wonder why I wasted 10 seconds of my life writing it. What wasn’t in those headlines? The sweet sixteen of the NCAA tournament, which has fallen so far under the radar, my Call of Duty perk didn’t even pick it up. While you may judge me in a different light after that analogy, I don’t care. Because the sweet sixteen is tomorrow, and that brought us moments like this from Gus Johnson.

            Here are my predictions for Thursday’s games, because I know you woke up today wondering what they were:

           

            1 Syracuse over 4 Wisconsin: Syracuse has been severely disrespected by critics after losing center Fab Melo for academic ineligibility, and I expect them to take down the Badgers in a ‘nobody believes in a us’ type game. This should be a close game though, after Wisconsin beat final four hopeful Vanderbilt in the round of 32 behind the play of all- american point guard Jordan Taylor. However in mascot wars, I expect Bucky the Badger to pummel Otto the Orange to a pulp. It's funny because he's an orange lololololol!

             1 Michigan State over 4 Louisville: I thought Davidson would beat Lousiville in the first round but I know nothing about sports. However, historically teams that play 4 or 5 teams in their conference tournament tend to wear out in the NCAAs, and Louisville fits that criteria. Draymond Green is a monster for MSU, and though Louisville has won 6 straight games going back to the Big East Tournament, the Big 10 has been dominant in the tournament and that trend should continue. I expect the Spartans to pull this one out and defeat the Cardinals, much like Paris did to Achilles in Troy. Fun fact: Achilles is the Oakland A’s general manager. Or was it Brad Pitt that was Achilles?  Or was Achilles Bill Beane? But isn't Billy Beane the Oakland A's General Manager? Or is Billy Beane general Manager of Achilles? Wait, I think its Achilles is Billy Beane, who is General Manager of Brad Pitt, who used to play for the Oakland A's. Cool.

            2 Ohio State over 6 Cincinnati: Some are calling this the Civil War round 2. And by some I mean nobody. Cincy has been a nice story after brawling with Xavier (also in the sweet 16) earlier this season. They came back and got all the way to the finals of the Big East tournament and are now in the sweet 16. However, Ohio State is one of the most talented and experienced teams in the country and should take care of business.

            7 Florida over 3 Marquette: The best reason I have for Florida winning this game is that there has to be one upset and these teams seem most even. Florida is a team riding a wave of momentum coming into this game, winning each of their first 2 tourney games by at least 26 points. Marquette has been good too, but my gut says Florida. That said, my gut also told me my last fart would be silent, so I don’t know what to think anymore.